Realistic Fiction
Warm bright Saturday, birds chirping, Mshefi
stands before the mirror adjusting his bow-tie - a slight forlorn look in his
eyes. He looks sharp(as you wouldd expect), opens his ring-case n gazes at the
ring; shrugs n sighs - adjusts his look once more and after he’s satisfied with
the final looks; he goes 2 the chimes of church bells n traditional wedding
song n dance. Mshefi can’t wait to see her bride, his hands and armpits are
sweating from anxiety despite the chilly morning temperatures. This is the day
he had been looking forward to since he made up his mind to finally settle
down. He never thought he would ever do this and nobody saw it coming.
Mshefi: ‘hurry
up Kobe; I can’t afford to be late for my wedding.’
Kobe: ‘haha, yes sure Mshefi, for once you’ll be on
time on something, lest Bahati gets there before you.’
(Mshefi gives Kobe a concerned look)
‘ok, ok, no
more joking about that. Anything u want to tell me before we take the final
bow?’
Mshefi: (almost immediately) no
Kobe: Come on, no last words,
you’re sure, ya kindugu?
Mshefi: hahaha thanks Bro. for everything
(they’re
hugging)
Kobe: Whatever
you say, just know that I’ll always be here for you.
(the hug is disrupted by the hooting cars and
louder women singing and dancing)
(In church, a whisper going round, Mshefi
throws glances in the church and sees a handful of distant relatives and
friends on his side of the church and he sees the benches full on Bahati’s side
of the church and this make him smile.)
Kobe: (whispers to Mshefi) Oh my
God!
Mshefi: (whispers)
what??
Kobe: she is so beautiful; when u see her you will want
to marry her.
Mshefi: (loud whisper) Kobe stop it!
By now the wedding procession has finally
reached the front and the bridesmaids and groomsmen have neatly part ways to
let the bride come in.
(The wedding proceeds as planned and before
long Mshefi and Bahati are pronounced husband and wife)
(Outside the church, groups of friends and
family exchange greetings while taking photos alongside the bride and groom)
Pat: Hey, congrats Mshefi,
I’m so proud of you
Mshefi: Thank you bro, it’s the one of
the best feelings in the world
Pat: can we take a picture with
the couple of the day?
Mshefi: sure why not?
Pat: Hey shorty come say hi to the bride and groom,
they want us to take a picture with them
Shorty: Hi, Mshefi, Hi Bahati
congratulations on your wedding day
(Pat and Shorty stand beside each other in the
middle of the bride and groom and they smile for the camera)
(A
year later, Mshefi and Bahati are seen entering their new house after a
morning jog)
Mshefi: Hey hun, you
got some good speed
Bahati: yes I do, I’ve been telling you I am way fit; I take
the stairs instead of the elevators in the office.
Mshefi: don’t flatter yourself, I let you
win.
Bahati: Yeah right you did. (Smiling)
Mshefi: How about that backrub you promised?(
winks)
Bahati: Please remind me, seems to have
escaped my mind
Mshefi: Honey, seems I have to introduce myself to you every
morning, if u can’t even remember the backrub you promised yesterday before you
slept (jokingly)
Bahati: (with a hoarse voice) Ok, son,
come to mama for a backrub
Mshefi: That was easy (smiling sheepishly as he follows her inside)
(Laughs, a scream, a slap, and a few more
laughs running around the house. After about an hour or so…)
I
wouldn’t mind breakfast when packaged like that
Bahati: oh don’t get so comfortable, you’ll start earning
them now…Mshefi, I have to go visit my
mum today evening, she couldn’t wait and I’m tired of explaining things to her
through the phone.
Mshefi: what time will
you be back?
Bahati: I can’t tell, you know my mum (rolls her eyes) but
your food will be ready, just in case I come late
Mshefi: so I don’t wait up?
Bahati: you said it, but I’ll get there early so we can
finish all the talk early before dad gets there
(Bahati at her mum’s place)
Ma: Tell me everything dear, and yes, seems
things are really good, you have a glow.
Bahati: Thanks mum.
Ma: You’re
welcome dear. So? How have you been? You know I can’t hold on any more.
Bahati: Ok, ok, ok, it was ….really great. I thank God for
every bit of it. Who would have thought we would have made it? I mean with all
that pressure to get everything right. A year down the line and we are still
here.
Ma: I
know honey, so how is your husband?
Bahati: she’s fine ma, you talk as if
I’m all so grown now. I still need all the advice I can get.
Ma:
I know dear, I’m your mum, you can always ask anything you want to know,
anything at all alright?
Bahati: (hesitates before answering)
Ok, ma thanks ( smiles)
(SILENCE)
Ma: I know that smile,
spill
Bahati: There’s nothing, it is too early
Ma: Too early for what
Bahati? Oh dear, don’t tell me you people are trying already?
Bahati: trying what?
Ma: I’ve been there before honey. So sit
yourself down and face me and tell me all that’s going on.
(silence)
Bahati: You know the way Mshefi loves kids,…(lets it hang in the air)
Ma: Yes I do, but I thought you went through
that with him and decided you will do it only when both of you are ready.
Right?
Bahati: Right
Ma: so? Did the two of you
agree?
Bahati: we did actually,
Ma: (almost immediately) then
why do you seem depressed about it?
Bahati: Because its not happening
Ma: Come on honey, you’re talking as if you were
born yesterday, who doesn’t know it takes time, needs to get the body relaxed
and in good shape
Bahati: When else would I be relaxed
more than that year surrounded by love and comfort?
Ma: I don’t want to hear a word about it now; I
don’t think you have done anything. This is just the beginning.
Bahati: Ok, Ma thanks a lot, I have to rush to church now
for practice a little before getting back home to my husband. Bye mum (she hugs
her mum)
Ma: How you kids grow fast,
it was just the other day,….
Bahati: (almost immediately) don’t even start mum, I’m
sure I know where that’s headed, Love you, kisses, (almost a shout) say hi to
dad for me.
(Leaves in a rush)
(After church practice, Bahati and her
friends are seen strolling from church)
Grace: So Bahati, how have you
been? I can tell things are good, you are looking great.
Bahati: Really? I Thank God, things are
just….you know, life.
Mercy: What do you mean? Tell us how
marriage is? How is Mshefa by the way?
Bahati: He is very ok. I’m sure he’s about to call and ask
where I am, could you girls excuse me? I want to rush home (as if to leave
before her name is called)
Rahab: Bahati, Bahati wait up girl, I
want to talk to you, Please
Bahati: Oh dear, this girl never wraps
up (the other girls laugh at that)
Mercy: so you have also realized
Rahab: Hi dear, it’s been a while, how you holding up?
When am I being an aunt? A godmother?
Bahati: soon dear, soon keep praying
and hoping
Rahab: really? I thought there was
some good news I had to get out of you
Bahati: no, not really no. In the
fullness of time
Rahab: Really? I know Mshefi wants
kids now? You know he talks to Kobe so I
know.
Bahati: Yeah, mum says we still haven’t tried enough, so I’m
hoping for the best this coming year.
Rahab: ok dear, I’ll pray with you, but if you need
anything at all. I know a certain doctor who could check you up.
Bahati: no, come on, we just need to try again; when we have
settled now and see what happens.
(three months later. Bahati is seen to be
making a call, at night. Almost a whisper)
Bahati: (making a call) Hi Dear, how have you been hun,
….i’m great, been good thanks. I just wanted to ask you for that doctor you
were telling me about, could I get his contacts?...no there is nothing wrong, I
was just thinking I could visit the doctor and get a little advice..ok…thanks a
lot. Hope you are doing good yourself? ..ok thanks dear. Have a good night
dear.
(The next day:
Mshefi and Bahati are seen having a quiet meal in their house)
Bahati: I saw a doctor today
Mshefi: what do you
mean? Are you not feeling well?
Bahati: No, not really,
Mshefi: I thought you
just said you saw a doctor today
Bahati: I did, but could you just..
Mshefi: Oh ok, please finish
Bahati: a doctor that Rahab suggested
would help in us getting kids
Mshefi: and?
Bahati: and he had me made an
appointment for the both of us to see him.
Mshefi: so you have made the appointment already I suppose?
Bahati: I
had to
Mshefi: Oh, I thought something like that should have been
discussed before; but I guess you know what’s better for us? So?
Bahati: it’s not like that. See, we have been trying to get
a baby for the past 16months and the wait is a bit too much, so I just thought
Mshefi: Its ok dear, (holds her hand) everything will be
ok. When is the appointment?
Bahati: Its
two weeks after now.
Mshefi: its ok, I’m sure you’ll remind me
before then
(We
see Mshefi and Bahati in bed, at night, Mshefi is asleep and Bahati is awake.
Mshefi turns and sees Bahati awake..)
Mshefi: Hey dear
Bahati: Hey
Mshefi: What time is
it? Why aren’t you asleep?
Bahati: I can’t sleep, I don’t know
why.
Mshefi: Are you ok?
Bahati: yeah, I’m fine, maybe just
anxious about tomorrow
Mshefi: Come on, you said it yourself that we are just going
to be checked and maybe a little talk; that shouldn’t keep you awake, come on
now, try and get some sleep
Bahati: I don’t know, I just… (she
lets it hang in the air)
Mshefi: (almost immediately, a loud whisper)
shhhh, I don’t want to hear another word about it, until the doctor says
something that will make us stay awake indeed; doing the deed, you know what I
mean..
Bahati: (smiling) you’re silly,
but it’s true.
Mshefi: Ok, now goodnight.
Bahati:
goodnight dear.
Mshefi: I love you
Mshefi’s wifey
Bahati:
love you too Mshefi
(fade out)
Mshefi: Honey, you heard what the doc said right?
Bahati: Yes, I did.
Mshefi: So? You want us to give it a shot? And please stop
looking like you’re always on a funeral..cheer up now,
Bahati: I am happy just a little
thoughtful
Mshefi: Thinking about what? Talk to me (silence) mmh? You
know it takes two of us to make a baby right?
Bahati: yes, yes, it does
Mshefi: then why do you seem like you want to bear the burden
alone? You want to tell me anything?
(Silence…they
exchange glances)
Okay,
you know what dear, I think we should take a break from all this.
Bahati: (almost jumping out of her
seat) really?
Mshefi: Yeah
Bahati: you’re sure about this?
Mshefi: Yes sure why not? We are together forever right?
Bahati: (wakes up and pecks Mshefi on
the cheek) Thanks honey. You’re the best.
(Bahati
is seen running out of the room, Mshefi looks at her as she leaves the room)
(Mshefi is seen, picking up his sports bag
and leaves a note for Bahati. Later on after football, Mshefi and Kobe are seen
walking home after soccer)
Kobe: Mshefi,
what’s wrong? You played worse than a girl today
Mshefi: was it that
bad?
Kobe: (amazed) how can you even
ask that? You know you sucked.
Mshefi: maybe I’m just tired.
Kobe: When you are tired, you play like any of us, but
today you were totally off, anyway tired from what? Exactly?
Mshefi: (looks at Kobe,
about to say something then changes his mind and continues walking)
Kobe: Mshefi are you good?
Mshefi: Kobe I’m just really exhausted.
Kobe: OK, now I’m very concerned
with what the matter is?
Mshefi: (looks from right to left, then calls
Kobe close ) sit here I tell you something
Kobe: I’m listening
Mshefi: but this is only a hunch, but a strong one, so it
stays between us, not even your wife Kobe
Kobe: (signals to show his lips are
sealed)
Mshefi: It’s about Bahati. I think there’s something wrong
with our queen.
Kobe: really? I’m so sorry, but
I’m sure it’s something that can be worked on?
Mshefi: Did I start by saying it’s a strong hunch? Let me
paint the picture for you, so you help me think this through. Our dear lovely
lady spends most of her nights staring in the darkness, deep in thought, i
wonder whether there’s anything more to this ‘baby thing’ that I do not know. I
try to talk to her but it’s as if she has retreated to a shell that I can’t
reach, and as it is, I feel like I’m left out on this trying to get a baby, I
thought this is when we’re supposed to be so close, telling each other our
thoughts and feelings, the changing emotions, so when she leaves me out, I
wonder how I’m supposed to operate alone.
I don’t know whether it is the issue that’s still disturbing her, or
there’s something else attached to it. I had plans for us, I saw so much in us
that I never thought anything would break us this much, or maybe this is how
she reacts and then she’ll come out of it? I don’t know.
Kobe: Oh, Man I’m so sorry that this is what you’re
going through Mshefi, how come you have never said anything?
Mshefi: I am now; I thought everything would be fine; I
thought it would be a thing for just one night and the next day we would be
back to normal after ironing that out
Kobe: I really don’t know what to think. But I’m sure
you know her better, so you would be able to see more into the situation; but
you said you used to go the hospital together; does she talk during your
doctor’s visits?
Mshefi: It’s been a while since we were last there, we
finished them all, before she receded to this great shell, I guess she was
disappointed by the fact that none of us had any problem to show for not being productive
Kobe: Maybe that’s the big reason
Mshefi: Then why does she seem, rather why does she chose to
bear the burden alone, I’m thinking, it’s just a matter of time and it will
happen
Kobe: I think so too
Mshefi: You want to know something, today in the morning, before
she left the house I told her, we take a break from all this trying, and she
jumped out of her seat in excitement and even pecked me just because of that.
Kobe: Must have weighed heavily on
her.
Mshefi: Yeah, so anyway (sighs) I have plans for a getaway for
the both of us, to get away from all the busy life and just get to a quiet
place, you know even if she won’t talk to me, she will at least get some sleep
I hope and smile for me like the one lady queen I still adore
Kobe: Wow, good idea, I’m sure
it’ll do well to the both of you.
Mshefi: (smiling) I guess it
wasn’t so hard after all, talking really does help
Kobe: (laughing) most definitely it does,
do you still doubt your manhood, still think you’re less of a man when you do
certain things, like talk to a friend about some issue?
Mshefi: you think it’s not? (Gesturing by
shaking the hand)
Kobe: what? Soppy? Soft? Marshy?
Mshefi: yeah?
Kobe: (laughing) ease up bro. a real man
gets in touch with all his facets, to bring out the best in him. I salute you
though, you’re handling it well. Just don’t let it get the best of you
Mshefi: mmh, I love
this lady, I have no choice, it totally affects me.
(they continue walking, Mshefi does a small
jog and throws Kobe the ball)
Kobe: (thoughtful) wait up
Mshefi, did you say the two of you have finished seeing the doc
Mshefi: yeah, sure.
Kobe: oh ok, just something I remembered about last
week, Rahab saying she was taking Bahati to some clinic, anyway (shrugs the
shoulders) maybe it’s a girl’s thing?
Mshefi: Last week? Eerrm, I see. Yeah
maybe it was.
(Kobe now throws the ball at Mshefi, to go
on with the jog)
Can I just
rush home if you don’t mind? I just remembered I have to be somewhere and It
had totally escaped my mind
Kobe: oh, ok you better run then
Mshefi: Later bro, and
thanks
Kobe: (Mshefi breaks into a run and Kobe shouts)
keep in touch; I don’t have to make an appointment to see you.
(Mshefi and Bahati talking in the house, Bahati is seen folding clothes,
while Mshefi is perusing thru the TV channels)
Mshefi: Hey babe,
Bahati: Yeah
Mshefi: When did you say your leave starts?
Bahati: Next week. Why?
Mshefi: I was thinking of a get-away, actually not just
thinking, I have it all planned out
Bahati: (In shock but not happy) really? Isn’t it a bit
late for telling me that now?
Mshefi: Come on honey, I thought the reason why we don’t do
much its coz of that work, now work is out of the way, it’s about time to do a
little play( Smiling) or what do you
think?
Bahati: So how long is this get-away?
Mshefi: I would want it to be so long, that when we get back
you might not want to see me, but unlucky for me I only get two weeks from you
Bahati: two weeks? Come on dear? I had plans you know?
Mshefi: Yeah, you still have this weekend to reschedule and
the other two weeks to do all that. I’m sure your leave is a month.
Bahati: Yes it is.
Mshefi: So?
Bahati: I guess it’s a yes, you said the plan is as good as
ready.
Mshefi: Yes, yes, it is.
Bahati: See you then…..
(Takes her basket of clothes and leaves
the room)
Mshefi: What do you mean see you then, we live in the same
house, you know
Bahati: (heard
shouting and laughing) all the best with that Mr. .. see you in get-away land
Mshefi: (is seen to be smiling and shaking the head,
then the smile disappears and he seems deep in thought, then loud whispers)
If
only she knew….., but a man’s got to do, what a man’s got to do. Damn, I have
to be able to trust my wife, not doing creepy things like investigating her,
but she hasn’t made it easy for me either.
Bahati: My dear husband, are you talking to yourself?
Mshefi: (Almost jumping out of his seat)
what? No? Did I? Maybe you heard me singing; these days you crawl through
floors, come on?
Bahati: You really do need the get-away, so one little
detail. The venue?
Mshefi: Venue?
Bahati: Venue for our two-weeks get-away?
Mshefi: You know me better than that babe; you know I have to
leave room for surprises
Bahati: I’m sure if you had your way you would have just
whisked me away without telling me it’s a get-away, sort of kidnap me
Mshefi: Yeah, only I need someone to do some organized
packing
Bahati: (laughing) yeah, you’re so right about that. So I’m
not getting any hints?
Mshefi: Where did your love of surprises go to? I’m not
giving you anything?
Bahati: Even if I beg?
Mshefi: Try me
Bahati: (clicks and starts to walk away)
yeah, so you can have a good laugh and I still get nothing, I’m done with
begging, I’ll wait and see
Mshefi: And of course you will try to break me
Bahati: maybe
Mshefi: I’m armed, all-round armed, even if it means
stitching my lips together until that day
Bahati: The things you say Hun (leaves the room). Let the
games begin
Mshefi: (shouts) you’re on!
Bahati: I’m off for brunch with the girls, I’m sure they
will have thoughts to give about my leave plans
Mshefi: Enjoy.
Bahati: I’m sure I will.
(Bahati
is seen walking with Rahab, she seems disturbed)
Rahab: You know you better have a good reason as to why
you made me leave the house so much earlier.
Bahati: Trust me, I do.
Rahab: Really, what is it about?
Bahati: Mshefi has decided that we are going for a get-away
for two weeks.
Rahab: Ok,
Bahati: You know he has no idea about the doc visits.
Rahab: What?
Bahati: And I had agreed with the doc, that this leave is
when we should finish this procedure
Rahab: Oh dear
Bahati: I know, and I was supposed to be visiting after
every two days,
Rahab: And is there any way you could tell Mshefi about
it?
Bahati: Unless you want me dead, I cannot. Ok, not that
he’ll kill me, but I don’t think he’ll ever forgive me
Rahab: Ok, so what’s the other option?
Bahati: I suppose going to the doc and I tell him to give
me the shots for two weeks and I will go with them
Rahab: and who will be giving you the shots? Yourself ?
Come on
Bahati: It must be hard
Rahab: How about you just make the visits from the
get-away
Bahati: Mshefi wouldn’t tell me the venue, I asked he said
that’s the surprise, what do I do? Please help me think
Rahab: I am really thinking of a way out, and if you
boycott the whole get-away?
Bahati: I know, that seems like the only thing to do; but
how?
Rahab: What would be the excuse?
Bahati: I don’t know, let’s come up with one, Rahab Rahab,
I feel so guilty, but you totally understand right?
Rahab: (nodding the head, to mean yes) but
what I didn’t know is that Mshefi did not know about the doctor visits
Bahati: This is because he just told me to sit and wait and
it will just happen, and he also doesn’t know a minor detail that happened to
me a while back in college
Rahab: Oh come on,
Bahati: No judging
Rahab: (Very fast) I’m not, I won’t, I’m
just..you mean the incident with…
Bahati: (almost immediately) yes, yes
Rahab: Oh!
Bahati: How was I just supposed to tell him?
Rahab: You would have told him in those dating days, right
now it would be totally past you.
Bahati: Yeah right. We all have those secrets, you know
Rahab: (Silence)
(Bahati
looks at her, alarmed)
Bahati: You
want to tell me your hubby knows everything about you?
Rahab: (nods
the head to mean yes)
Bahati: Really?
Ok, so I’m the bad one, let’s get past that, you’re my friend; you’re supposed
to be on my side. Right?
Rahab: I
am still your friend, just that bit does not add up, and I have to be able to
point it out. Right?
Bahati: aaaarrrgh,
ok fine. Are you going to help me think? Or not?
Rahab: Ok,
what would make Mshefi abort mission get-away?
Bahati: Now
that’s my friend
Rahab: I
have an idea, ….what if we wait and you go for the get-away then….., then, you
can tell me where the venue is and come up with a strategy from there
Bahati: How
about? I just don’t go, or ma will get me out of this?
Rahab: Please
don’t involve your mum in this; it will not look good when it blows up
Bahati: Ok,
then, I have to go; Please let me know as soon as you come up with something to
get me out of this. Deal ?
Rahab: Deal.
Where you off to? Thought we had brunch?
Bahati: Please
send my apologies; let me get a few things done just in case my mission of
aborting get-away fails. Enjoy for two
Rahab: I
will, all the best dear, we talk later.
Bahati: Yes,
we will.
(Mshefi
and Bahati are seen seated at the airport waiting lounge, they both look
unsettled)
Mshefi: Are
you as excited as I am?
Bahati: Well,
let me see, you know where we are going and I don’t.; so of course the levels
of excitement are expected to be different.
Mshefi: Come
on, you have a hint though; I know I married a bright woman
Bahati: (A smile then pecks him on the cheek.)
(A
call comes in, its Bahati’s phone ringing, she picks it and makes it as brief
as possible)
Bahati: Yes,…
yeah …., (laughs) , no not really,……. aha,……. He’s right here, (looks at
Mshefi) .. ok, I will say hi.bye.
Mshefi: Who
was that?
Bahati: Rahab.
She said hi
Mshefi: Too
early to start missing us, didn’t I mention rule number one for this get-away
Bahati: I
don’t remember you saying anything
Mshefi:
phones off
Bahati: is
it that religious?
Mshefi: I’m
so serious, by the way. I want us to get in touch with ourselves and each other
Bahati: aaaaw,
how did I manage to get myself a good husband like you?
Mshefi: Are
you sure it’s not the other way round. Come to think of it, who asked who out
first?
Bahati: I
did of course, someone was buying time and I couldn’t take another minute.
Mshefi: no,
you didn’t. You came to talk to me and I suggested.
Bahati: So
I took the bold step and stopped the long stares
Mshefi: In
my defense you looked..
Bahati: Intimidating?
(Her
phone rings)
Mshefi: No,
no no
Bahati: How
did I look then? (a second ring, she looks at it)
Mshefi: I’m
saying no, you’re not going to pick that, it’s like the get-away started
already.
Bahati: (a
third ring) I really have to get it. Would you please excuse me?
Mshefi: aaarrrgh,
ok go ahead
(As soon as she
picks the call, Mshefi starts is all over her, tickling and trying to distract
her and she’s trying to stop herself from laughing)
Bahati: Hallo,
yes…no… I mean yes Doctor. No I mean no, I might not make it this week as
agreed. Please let me call you back.
Mshefi: What
was that about?
Bahati: About
how Intimidating I looked before you asked me out.
Mshefi: No,
Doctor, I will not make it this week.
Bahati: Oh
that, (she looks away) I will tell you.
Mshefi:
(entangles himself from her and sits up straight) tell me.
Bahati: Just
some doctor I have been seeing
Mshefi: why?
Bahati: He’s
helping me with fertility stuff, you know those things, they use complicated
names I don’t get it.
Mshefi: Why
do you see him then, if you don’t understand?
SILENCE
When were you
planning to tell me?
Bahati: I
had not yet thought that out exactly but of course
Mshefi: Did
you just hear yourself say that? Do you know how wrong it is for me to learn
about something like that from somebody else? Especially when it’s a friend?
Bahati: You
did? From whom? Wait, are you saying this is not the first time you hear this..
Mshefi: Does
it really matter? Do you think its fair to keep things from me
Bahati: You’re
not going to play the victim here when you don’t even know what this is about
Mshefi: Don’t
I Bahati? Don’t I know how you have been behaving lately towards me?
Bahati: Come
on dear, you know how busy I have been
Mshefi: Busy
is not an excuse for shutting me out and have me feel like i have to take you
somewhere so that I can get in touch with you.
Bahati: What?
Is that what this was about? A get-away indeed! I am going back home
(mshefi
and Bahati are seen entering their house, wearing long faces)
Mshefi: I’m
sorry
Bahati: (puts
her hand up) don’t say it
Mshefi: I
sincerely am sorry for spoiling our get-away but you didn’t leave me no choice
when u decide to retreat in a cocoon and you don’t speak to me
Bahati: So
you go spying on me?
Mshefi: I
am mortified, if you could..
Bahati: You
know what? Never mind, I have stopped what I was doing coz anyway it was
supposed to be helping us
Mshefi: Please
don’t give me that, you see a doctor behind my back and tell me that you were
helping us. I thought we closed that chapter.
Bahati: I
wanted to go the extra mile to make you happy, I know how much you like kids…
Mshefi: Stop
right there, I do like kids very much, but you know what? This is a marriage; we are supposed to be
doing things like that together
Bahati: (she
starts tearing) the extra mile I went to please you
Mshefi: And
in the long run, you push me farther away; Is it really about me, and what I
want? What I like? or about your married
girlfriends? They all have their firstborns, or is it about what your mum says?
What the society expects of us?
Bahati: (she
looks at him disbelievingly) How can you even ask that?
Mshefi: I
know how you go around picking stuff, advice, who said what about this, it’s
usually done like this or like that in so and so’s house, that’s all you say
nowadays. You make us look like we don’t have brains and we can’t make our own
rules, and do it the way we understand it, you want to use some foreign
yardstick and …..
Bahati: Wow,
all I do, the research, the miles and miles I go talking to different people is
to try and bring the best out of this, and ..i pray about everything I bring to
our table, be it advice from mum, and the rest..
Mshefi: I’m
sorry I don’t feel it, we have the power to create, and create in this sense
means, that we come up with our own routine, our way of doing stuff, our manner
of ….just about everything, but it feels like its just about you…out to outdo..
Bahati: Out-do…?(
she lets it hang in the air..)
Mshefi: (with
a cold stare) It seems to me that you out to prove something to yourself and
all those people you are trying to keep tabs with. If you love me and you are
busy trying to make something happen because of my-our happiness as you claim
then I would be involved.
Bahati: I..I…I,
I can’t believe you can even think that I am trying to keep tabs with anyone,
you know how I feel about comparison in life…
Mshefi: (as
if he didn’t hear what she said) what happened to the vows we made to each
other? We didn’t mention any kids anywhere. Kids were not part of the package,
you made a vow to me and I made a vow to you
Bahati: But
this is exactly what I am trying to do, I am trying to work out just one of the
situations, its like I’m trying to serve us joy, so I’m in the kitchen cooking
it, and this is what it takes
Mshefi: Really?
Is that what you think this is; my biggest problem is I am left out, I am not
in the picture; when you’re in the
kitchen cooking or trying to prepare some meal, I know you are there, doing exactly
that; Now I don’t know where you are,
what you are doing? What you think about this thing called marriage? And if
this is your way of sorting out just one of the situations then…
Bahati: Then
what? Then what Mshefi?
Mshefi: May
God help us, because this is just the start, and you know what we’re stuck
together forever, so you may want to let me in when you decide to go the
kitchen and make me another joyous meal.
Bahati: I
don’t think you have tried asking
Mshefi: Oh
come on, you don’t want me to get started on how many times, I have asked and
you just smile at me, at times you say nothing, I find you staring at night
when we’re supposed to be sleeping, it’s like you feel pain when I lay my hand
on you, I don’t know what to make of you anymore, tell me what happened to my
wife
Bahati: Is
it that bad?
Mshefi: I
had to organize for a get-away to try and get close to someone I share a bed
with, do you really want to know how bad it is.
Bahati: I
was doing it for us
Mshefi: Which
part of us is helped when you act like that again?
SILENCE
I am sorry dear, but you have made me be someone else,
and I don’t like it; always wondering what you could be thinking, the other
evening I was feeling guilty about spying on you, coz it did feel like that to
me, We don’t do family altar anymore, like we used to pray together and you
would know what I’m struggling with and vice versa, but now it’s you and I, not
bubbly us, people who couldn’t sit in different couches in the living room; now
when I’m in the room, you have reason not be there, the silence is not
comfortable anymore, you…
Bahati: You
don’t know how many times I have wished that you knew, that you knew the
thoughts in my heart, the battle I have inside, the uncertainty and that if you
only knew how much it matters to me that we get a child, I want it so so so
badly, maybe you are right, I am trying to prove something about myself to
myself, but not to anyone. There’s a tag of war, there’s a voice that I don’t
want to believe whispering that it can’t happen, coz I know it can happen, it
happens to everyone, to those who don’t ask for it, to those who don’t care
about it, to those who aren’t busy trying, it happens to them but me…..
(Crying) Do you want to know who
people will talk about and mock if and when nothing is to come of this, it is
I, it is I that they will ask questions, it is my mother the mothers will
approach and ask her if she taught me all what she needed to, the girls will be
on my case, do you have any idea how it feels to have an issue you cannot
share, I feel like I will tell you, “I don’t know why we are not successful in
getting a child and that I’m concerned about it,” but to me it hasn’t really
helped, I don’t have the words to really explain the anguish, I’m worn out,
each day I wake up Its among the thoughts that cross my mind, I will get a new
name out there with regards to my barren situation; and I am sorry I pushed you
out of the orbit of our world, I have been patient with God but I guess his one
day has turned out to be a thousand for me
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