Nex vents

Nop, that is not the situation i am in, i am sure we would be glad to all put our claws in it; that's the name of a script that i was attempting to put together for it to be staged or screened, maybe; after this awesome, great great online rendevous that has been keeping me on toes, physically and mentally and spiritually. Sincerely, been a rough but good road, very beneficial, i have gained a lot, learned a lot and then fell back from the rendevous like i was falling from some fantasy world but literally and this time it hurt; Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success, you know. ~William Saroyan: i had to copy paste that quote so that i can end this particular piece, apparently it is still very raw to be written with an objective perspective.   One thing i have come to appreciate though is the adversities we go through, the challenges we come by day by day, what matters is not how wrecked you are by the blow

As i was walking home, tired after a hard day's work and mulling over the thoughts of an article i had just read about building a pipeline versus being a bucket carrier the rest of your life; i was whispering to myself how i want to build my pipeline, its about time i start building my pipeline... Thoughts of a man i respect and adore popped up; rather his image, his works, and the point at which he is in life crossed my mind; this man called my dad has raised me up from very humble beginnings, you could actually feel when all the resources have been stretched to the limit so that u go to school. This man dropped out of school so that he could take care of his mum whose mental health was not good, he went everywhere with his mum, took care of him until his mum left us(may her soul RIP) Right now, this guy is a Computer Aided design Manager in a company that he has worked for more than 2 decades, where he started as a dustman rather he used to clean the plastic plants set in off

when someone asks you, 'how are you? the question that is most frequently asked when we meet in a new day, in the streets, in the office, even people who have lived under the same roof  should and do ask each other this question. More often than not, we answer without thinking. In English lessons in class we were taught that when you are asked, 'How are you-fine' is the answer; But are are we really fine? Personally, i answer this question differently, thanks to the many diverse ways of expression of the English language, or Swahili( the one we speak most), 'niko tu', niko salama', 'nakazana tu', 'niko poa taking a day at a time'. Note: i try as much as possible not to lie, and so when this question is asked to me, a flash of what i think is not right passes in my mind's eye and then i consider whether by telling this particular person, 'i am alive but...' then i take it back and as quickly as possible go, 'I'm fine and yo

I have learnt a lot, since i went off on you; i have read a minefield; books, blogs, talked to people with sound advice, listened to very in sighting radio shows..but at the end of the day; i ask myself, do i just sit on my minefield of knowledge? maybe i want a platform to share what i have learnt; but doesn't that make me one of the voices that speak the truth to a multitude whose feedback upon action on the said word is not guaranteed? I feel like i hold the key to the questions that disturb humanity, and so does everybody else, i can't say I have read myself to the top of the world; but what i can assure you is that i have the infinite intelligence and power. The saying, "we are our own worst enemies' it is ever so true; how? i know everything i need to know rather i believe i know, but wait till i act on it, i move around with the answer in my pocket instead of removing the answer and using it to answer all my questions. It is like having a key; a master key i

everyone of us thinks and actually knows that they have been through the best and worst of experiences and that is what has made them who they are this day... My mum( i thank God for her) has given me the basic principles that have guided me until this day 1. I was never allowed to eat at the neighbors house; my mum used to say, "What your mum has not given you is human waste." Her exact words; trust me when you are a kid this is super scary. 2. I would never go to my mum crying without a good reason, even if it was a good reason, you had to hold yourself, talk first and then burst into your tears; which wouldn't last long because she would give you reason to go quiet almost immediately 3. She would tell me time and time again to never ever compare myself to anyone when it comes to how other kids are dressed( she used to tailor-make our dresses in the house, seriously there was no way you could even start to compare.)  what they eat; because what she gives you is the

Are successful people at peace..rather do they have peace.? or let's put it this way,  what does success mean to you? I treasure my peace of mind much more than anything else. When i do anything, anything at all from eating, moving, breathing, business deal; if and when i have my peace of mind at the end of it all; i think i have succeeded in that which i was engaging myself in.. One of my 'successful' friends (i would like to call him that) asked me the other day, "is it that i made it too early?' he asked me this because he does not have his peace of mind; oh, he got lots of money, changed enough cars since i met him, he's been through a divorce and he's in my age set( i don't believe i'm old yet), he is involved in several business deals running nconcurrently and he is the director.(what could be the problem) You should see this guy when he does not have money, by this i mean he's been asked for almost 100,000 kenya shillings to replace h

Here is an example of those decisions that you make and you recognize immediately after you have decided and now you would like to pull out; no, i am not married yet; so its not that common mistake that people make. Now, i happened to accept a courtesy call made in the mask of a job.i came all the way to this great office and instead of the great job that i had gone for i was given an example of a job. Let me not even waste your time by giving you a long read; all i know is that from the word go it was all crappy. I will go on a writing diarrhoea(pardon my language) and give you a brief history of my not very good career life. There was this wonderful job that i got, and the boss liked me and thought i had potential. i dive and start workingwith the zeal and passion that i got and guess what i find out in the middle of all the working i find that the boss has Short syndrome bla bla bla i just know its a disorder; so he happens to shout at me not once but several times in a matter o

for the last couple of weekends my life has been off the hook with different events, re-unions and with different pals all the way. After all's said and done i sat back and fell in a pit of sadness just because I go for all these events, psyched up and I totally enjoy myself but its just that i realized after the events every one of my friends went accompanied or was picked up by the other half.. while here i am all so living in a fake bubble of a relationship that does not exist. The point:  There was a certain juncture of my life that i was psyched up and i had decided to go out for dates but its totally emotionally draining. It comes to a point when one feels like   too many hearts are broken already especially when the other party is interested and i am not. Hence, i am tired of hunting, this is me giving up the race, the fight against the forces is becoming too brutal for me. Oh and just to rub it in this weekend was at my cousin's introduction ceremony and boy, oh boy,

The last post i did i mentioned something to do with healing of father wounds, i actually did mean it. Now that i did the acceptance and recognition stage, i still have the blanks left where i come clean and so that there could be a reconciliation. Anyway, this past Saturday i attended a networking breakfast, need i say how I am upgrading by the minute, no? (my friend Sabina!)  and so there was this powerful talk about business networking and money circulation within a specific group of people.i got to learn what i have heard several times, "Unity is a force", i felt like we need more of this, we need to let go of the things that more often than not we are after, rather change the way we view things, priorities, so that one has a higher reason as to why they want to achieve whatever they are after.. then i went to church on sunday and guess what the preacher tells us, about family concerns, he did mention about the absent fathers, the divided families, the families that r

how is it that i call myself 'wild, the life of the party, loud,' and you know there is just this one thing that has forever been a hurdle to me and that is making friends in church. I have been brought up in a christian home, taught by my parents the ways of the Lord and how spiritually healthy it is to go to church, and trust me, just like any other child i used to go to church after a fight; after a struggle to leave bed and with a very straight face you'd walk to church consoling yourself on how it will be over soon and maybe by thinking about the games that you will play and what have you always got you by.. but one thing never passed me; the importance of going to church. Funny enough, when i was far away from home and had no one to monitor or tell me to wake up and go to church. i would just do it; mind you even when i went out practically the whole night i just used to drag myself to church somehow; So kudos! my parents i did learn a fact to go by. Anyway so the p

a few days back i was woken up by a phone call from my mum, as always started with, "are you still sleeping?" and its only natural for me to tell my mum the truth so i go like, "mmmh" and she burst out with, "aren't you coming to the funeral? how many times do i have to remind you to show up for events like this and show other people that you care? after that there was a click! so i dragged myself out of bed and woke up the rest of the house so that we could prepare to go for a funeral of some neighbor/relative by marriage. We reached there when the service was in session, and the multitude that had gathered was moving. There was an unwritten agreement, there were some people that were very sad and others who were even drunk, there was a loud quietness and there was a rowdy gathering of the young idlers of the area; some of the estate dwellers got time off work to just show up for a short while for the funeral. When it was time for the saddest moving bit;

Sometimes when i wake up in the morning, i smile and find myself energetic and positive and i feel like that particular day is going to be wonderful; awesome if anything.. then there are other days when i wake up feeling groggy, more sleepy, tired and like i will force myself to leave the house that day.. and i definitely do not look forward to that day. I am sure we all know the secret; positivity and negativity and how it affects you and how one is supposed to put synchronize their energy with the universe so that the universe can in turn reward you with the very best..i know, i know all this.. but there is something called the wheel of fortune; no i don't believe in it, and no am not advocating for it, i just wanted to say that there is a time in life when things start going wrong, and when they come, they are in succession; its as if each action leaves an inheritance and just about everything goes wrong that day. How about when something good happens? i mean everything falls in

Just the other day i received an inbox talking about a high school re-union that had been planned, as i read, i was glad thinking what an awesome idea, i mean its been long and my friends and i had actually suggested that we would want one; so there could never have been such an opportune moment; then as the day was approaching i see people asking the others if and when they will attend, and then it hit me that i am also as undecided as they are and so i joined in the conversation trying to cajole them to think about it in a positive way, and the fun we would have and how they should actually join.. before i sent my contribution for the attendance of the re-union, i actually made a call first to one my friends to confirm her attendance, and I'm just wondering why the phobia? i know one person who thinks the questions are just too much? maybe she would like to go there and not asked how she's doing, does it mean she thinks she's a failure? is it that only successful people

i have made quite a few decisions by taking a coin, tossing it in the air and the side that's up, takes the vote... but these have been cases that just have a yes or a no..now i am faced with this decision that i wish i had a coin with five sides, i mean its that huge; or should i take the pros and cons approach with it? should i involve feelings, oh wait a minute! that's where everything goes wrong? right? what if i go with a business mind approach? or what if i become passive meaning maybe i will get up someday and ask myself, 'what if?' damn, this is really something!!

i remember the days when there was a careless, rich, raucous laughter that used to fill the air often and effortlessly, the days when we used to survive in a bubble; a bubble that contained very few people who mattered. the days when you didn't have to wear make-up to cover up the puffy eyes that cried a lot at night, the days when you never strained to smile to anyone who deserved a smile because there was nothing to hide; those days when you don't haveto come up with small talk to avoid talking about the real issues; what's bothering you. the days when you kneel to pray and it flows because you don't have so many sins to think about and ask for forgiveness for, the heart and mind were clearer and lighter...

They say the experiences we go through are supposed to enhance character. we, as human beings are supposed to learn from them. but do we? trust you me when i tell you maybe i am among the people that make the same mistake twice. I end up asking myself is it because i don't see it coming or is it because i just didn't learn from the previous experience such that fate has it repeated so that i may, if anything, just learn from it. There is this particular incidence, (allow me to make a filthy comparison) i would like to see it as passing through a lane; one of these hideous, dark lanes that we got. Say i pass there almost everyday and i step on human waste on the same spot, the next day i pas there again and damn! i step on it again. The punishment is spending the rest of the day with a pungent smell on me simply because i did not learn either to avoid the human waste or avoid the lane all together. I say some human beings will pass there and relate it to their friends, and e