Nex vents

Its at times like these when thoughts cannot seem to come to a resolution, actions don't match up with the words spoken and the will of the heart that we decide to just ramble out sentences and maybe when read later, anyone and everyone will try and make out what exactly was going on. There are things that happen as a result of our repressed thoughts and feelings in our hearts; for instance i may go on a shopping spree when i have decided deep down in my heart that i need to treat myself, yet i have not really given thought and budgeted on the cash at hand/wallet; its like a rebellious movement. That's exactly what just happened to me a day ago, so at the moment my thoughts, body and heart still haven't agreed so i still feel scattered all over the place; The body is happy, the thoughts/heart are like welll...?so is that it? is that why you made such a fuss? and it gennerally sucks to think of the future implications of the stupid short-term rebellious movement. You do un

Is there anything like re-living a situation? coz i know i am, doing exactly that. i am re-living a situation in my mind, a situation i went through two years ago, but now i look at the situation as me, then, it was totally somebody else going through all that, being strong for everyone around, i used to feel the pain but not as much, i would never really be able to explain the calm and sense i got into me during the actual events happening; so point is, i am re-living the whole experience as if it was just yesterday, this time, i am in my own body and mind and it tends to get tricky, weird,..but i am hoping that after this that moment will come, that moment that depicts the change forever in someone's life, a different discourse is taken from then on coz of that moment, routines broken and new ones adapted, new habits formed, character moulding,and the like..Oh, i am looking forward to that BIG moment.i have a very strong hunch, a gut feeling, that after i relive this moment, that