Forgiveness

Well, well, well, I am sure we have all had our share of forgiveness to receive and forgiveness to give.
I am about to repeat this word forgiveness so many times so you better be ready to live with it. I have been going through this lesson of forgiveness the hard way; the experience way. I am not sure whether it is because my hurt levels have reduced because if you asked me, several years ago I didn't have people who hurt me and grudges that I held.

So now, both of the memorable blows have come from people that I considered friends. Next thing, the issue revolved around money. The third thing you have to know about the whole of this story is that I love doing business, so whenever i hear an opportunity that will bring back money and a plus, i take full advantage of the opportunity. In one of the instances,  that's what happened.

In the other instance, it was a saving opportunity. A group that involved, of course, friends, rather people who we had known each other for years. The long and short of this story is we have saved for two years, well, if not everyone was saving, I was. I sent in my savings faithfully. Only to see the group disintegrate, people go mum with huge loans that are accruing interest. People just not showing up, and no one taking any action against them. That's when i realized that it's as good as that. Hope for ever receiving that money was gone.

As a human being, when these two instances happened to me,I could not believe it. I thought, persistence would do. I thought,  if I called the first friend much, he would give in, but NO! I thought that if I consolidated the group and made others to care about their savings, that it would save mine; I received apathy. I thought that if  I  talked to them about integrity on the whatsapp group, something would awaken in them, still I didn't get anyone to care enough.

I was hurt, I was bitter. I told God how I had not stolen that money. See, I am the kind of  person who does not know how to be hurt for long. I look for ways to get out of such situations. The only way I could get out of these ones was to let go of that money, let go of the plans I had with that money, and in turn let go of the people behind the money's disappearance.

I needed to forgive. I had to, otherwise, I wouldn't have anyone else to talk to about any other aspect of my life except how i was feeling robbed by people that I called my friends.

The forgiveness process started. I told myself that I let go. I made a decision not to think about these people. I also decided not to remember that money. I  made these decisions in my heart. I encouraged my husband to let it go too ( we hurt together).

Of course other instances have come up where i found myself trying to hold a grudge. I immediately repeat the process. I always ask God for help throughout the entire process. Trust me, it is not a walk in the park, neither is it a one-day thing. It takes time. In the end though, there is a freedom that comes with forgiveness.

Well, if we talk about forgiveness in a marriage setting, that's  a whole story for another day