Confrontation?

Are you as confrontational as I am? I am one of those people who tell the bare truth that to an extent it hurts.

Dictionary definition of 'Confront' is

Confront means either to face a situation that makes you uncomfortable, or to say something to someone about something they've done that bothers you. Rather than letting things go, when people are rude to you you should confront them. Confront derives from the Latin con- "with" and -front "front."

Of late, I decided to take some break from the whole confontation thing. why? I cannot explain myself simply in a sentence without giving some incidences. There is this one day, sometime back I had a confrontation with one of my good friends. She is also a confrontation-kinda girl. We exchanged our thoughts and after that even if, we sort of made up, Our friendship has never ever been the same again. Matter of fact as i write this, we barely talk, but i believe if we were to meet, we would be cordial.

I have been in forums where I could openly speak my mind. I took the opportunity and when I was shining in telling people the truth, I happened to hurt some people. Guess what I did again? I went back to my shell.

So, Since I joined the nannies club, I have learnt that as soon as I have a confrontation with a nanny, it is such an elephant task to be 'good' again. 

I have had incidences since the start of this year where I knew I was about to confront someone and then I changed my mind. Case in point, an In-law, I thought the moment I confront, our relationship will always have this big 'bump'. I chose silence and thought maybe with time, things would be easy.

Maybe, I am writing this because I am here wondering, is it okay for me to just stay in my shell and not-talk? Especially in, let's say friendships? Certain friends do things to you and since you experienced a situation where you confronted and that friendship ended, you keep quiet and keep your distance? 

Is this what 'adulting' is about? I have changed nannies so many times in the last ten months simply because of the confrontation nature that I have. 

Another thought is that, I prefer being confronted too. When I have messed up in any way, I prefer someone walking up to me and telling me you did 1,2,3 and I was not happy about it or your actions caused 1,2,3 effects. Would you either explain yourself or change your approach? 

This could be the reason I treat people the way I expect to be treated. I wonder how many people feel like they could do with some truth?

The last few weeks I have been struggling with some 'general talking'. I am in a group of ladies, and in any group, as expected, we rub each other the wrong way. I have noticed a trend of general speak, what do I mean? When we get to a meeting and someone wants to correct what a lady has done, they would say, "Some of you do this and this, and that should not be the case". Comments like these irk me because I wonder is it me? or was it someone else that did that? Because honestly, I would not like to do something unconsciously that hurts another. I would like to think that sometimes without confrontation, you will not get change.

How many feel me?

So, I just listened to a preaching by T.D Jakes and He says this 'The thing you cannot confront, You cannot conquer'

He emphasized, "Many think and feel that a confrontational person is a mean person, why is this? Because weak people have to get angry to confront"

I needed to hear this to get my confrontational balls back up and rolling.